Only if I can wipe the bottle first

Thirsty? How would you like a bottle of spring water from KISS member Gene Simmons?

The man known most for his ludicrously elongated tongue and misogynistic comments -- as well as inexplicably having snared the inimitable Shannon Tweed -- has filed to protect the trademark "Gene Simmons Wet" in relation to "bottled spring water, bottled drinking water and bottled flavored water drinks."

Eeewww!.

Simmons, for those who don't pay attention to such things, has had his own cable TV reality show ("Family Jewels") and is currently on "Celebrity Apprentice."

Thanks, as always, to our friends at Trademork.com who track such goings-on.

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